Ever feel like you're on autopilot? I realized for the past few weeks, that everything has been really going well.
I'm trying to maintain a "conscious contact" with God throughout the day, giving stuff to him that I can't handle. Its working well for me. I'm much happier at work (even happier when I leave), and everything is copasetic. This week, I just feel like everything is the same over and over. Go to work, go home, go to mens group, go to church, work on cars, etc. I look back at this month, and I've done LOTS of stuff. Had Dim Sum with friends, worked in the yard, harvested watermelons from my garden, went and visited friends I haven't seen in forever, helped at church, saw my grandpa. The list goes on. Maybe next week will be better eh?
I have lots of friends that I talk to now and then, but a lot of them are married and have families now, and can't hang out anymore. I do have a few handful of married friends who are allowed to get away for a while and go hang out and do stuff with, but its sad to see the loss of those friends that are under obligations of a family now. Maybe I'll understand one day.
On the romantic side of things, theres not much to report. I had a few dates with a girl my friends set me up with, but she's got a LOT of baggage, more than I care to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share in the past, and I have had LOTS of grace extended to me, but I had to realize that it was her, not me, that had issues. So, I moved on, once again. I can remember last year at this time, was Hurricane Ike. I was in a relationship that my friends warned me was not a good idea, yet I pursued it anyway. 3 days with the same person and no power can really show ones true colors.
Anyway, I have made amends, licked my wounds, seen my therapist, and I feel like I'm ready....but for what? Ready for another relationship? Ready for life?
Maybe the right answer is, whatever God has in store for me.